Never-Never Land

Somewhere, deep in the dark of a federal penitentiary, several confessed and convicted felons are having a round table discussion. They are debating about the ethical and moral dilemma of lying. You see, these criminals are worried. Sure lying, thieving and being generally crooked is what got them there in the first place. But, this is different. Claiming to be sorry for their crimes and weeping in front of their parole board might have dire consequences. Should they play the part of the born-again and be denied parole, they could be the backstop of every member and his bitch on cell block D.


Worse, yet, they could be released. Back on the streets, they would have a few months of freedom before receiving their edited mail back in a prison cell. The parole board isn't going to take kindly to a criminal that played them for fools. It might take three or four attempts at perfecting their craft this time.


They need to convince a parole board that they spent a long time in a horrible place with a great cable TV package. They need to develop a lie through self-delusion that actually seems credible. They can't simply lie this time, they actually have to be generally sorry for lying. About the previous lie. Not this one. This one doesn't count.


When they are picked up, again, they would need a Costanza caliber lie to be paroled a third time. A lie so seeped into other lies that there are layers upon layers of lies. Even if one lie is found out, other lies take its place, creating a perpetual lie, as it were.


On a related note; Pete Rose.