This Just In...

New York Yankees Signing

The New York Yankess have announced a press conference for 2 pm EST. The press conference is rumored to be an announcement of the signing of $175 million dollars. The deal is rumored to be in the neighborhood of one year for $240 million dollars with incentives and a signing bonus of Roger Clemens.


The $175 million dollars was 0-0 last year and had an OBP 0f .000.


George Steinbrenner took time away from paddling the asses of his front office personell to comment on the deal. "I think it's great in this day and age that I can spend money while other people have to work for money and have some sort of asinine value associated with it. What it's worth to me is to see that my name is in the papers as much as possible so that I can win friends and infleuence people. Plus, I plan on never dying, just to get back at all of my enemies. I also like to perfom for Bud Selig and this makes him look good while I have my lawyers gut his CBA that he got all that good publicity for back in September. Please excuse me I have a meeting to attend over there."


George Steinbrenner's ego was unavailable for comment as it was in a circle with several other Republicans making some sort of repetitive collective hand gestures over a pile of cowering $10 and $20 bills.