Hey, BUDDY! You SUCK!

It's a very concerning issue in MLB.

We sit in the rightfield bleachers when we go to Oakland A's games.
Apparently every single rightfielder in MLB sucks. It's true. The fans in rightfield have mentioned it many times.

Magglio Ordonez sucks.
So does Bobby Kielty.
ICHIRO apparently sucks Godzilla.
Tim Salmon sucks.

It's a very disturbing trend.

Where did all the great outfielders of our time go? Apparently, to the A's. Because the fans in rightfield root for Terrence Long, Eric Byrnes and Jermaine Dye when they play in rightfield.

It's very peculiar, since Jermaine Dye sucked severely when he was with Kansas City. Now, he does not suck very much, if not at all (JD - keep you hands back and quit trying to hurry your swing through the zone).

Maybe it's like a stand up comedian who introduces himself to the crowd, "It's great to be here!"

The GREAT Bill Hicks went further by mentioning, "it's great to be here; wherever the hell I'm at".

This rightfielder sucking issue comes to a head tonight when the Motor City Kitties come to play a three game set.

Now, empirically, the Tigers suck. So what will the fans yell to the rightfielder? The rightfielder must know that he is basically in MLB's Witness Relocation Program by playing rightfield for Detroit. Sort of like valedictorian of a GED graduating class.

What to do?

Maybe try suggesting different batting stances to the rightfielder. Perhaps a few suggestions on positioning for different batters. Suggesting the rightfielder take a called strike in his next at-bat and waiting for a good pitch to hit might help.

Or, the fans could just read the name off the player’s jersey and remind him that he sucks.

It’s amazing how much a guy has to suck to play MLB. Especially if his laundry is different colors from the team you root for.

Oh well, the fans paid their $8. They have a right to display their genetic disposition to idiocy.