TROUBLE

Yup.

We were in rightfield today.

Yup.

Carl Everett might be the stupidest human being on the face of the earth.

But does he deserve to be nailed in the back of the head with a cell phone?



. . .


No, seriously, we're asking.

Somewhere after the start of the 5th inning someone chucked a cell phone from at least 75 feet up and a good 45-50 yards away and nailed Carl Everett in the back of the head. It came from the Upper Reserve Bleacher section that hosts the BBQ Terrace in rightfield.

Now, that might be an incredible toss.

But, Carl Everett picked up the phone taunted the fans, turned, and threw the phone over the fence in rightfield. The area where Everett threw the phone is the cement stairwell that is inaccessible to fans.

After the phone left Everett's hand it flew 25 yards and struck an Oakland Athletics' Stadium Operations employee square in the forehead and immediately drew blood.

Man, if we weren't there we wouldn't believe it.

The first toss was just sheer luck, the second was dumb luck. The kind Carl Everett seems to attract in truckloads.

Now, we've written a lot at how the idiots in rightfield can say some stupid things and chant ridiculous mantras.

This was not that group.

The phone did not come from any of those morons.

The fan that threw the phone was immediately pointed out and security took the person away.

Everett got to stay in the game.

Further, Everett says he want to press charges against the fan.

Excuse me?

You got clipped on the back of your thick skull (and it helped, Everett homered to lead off the next inning - making some sort of hand gesture as he rounded the bases) and you want to press charges? Hell, we know a few thousand people who would take a toffee hammer to the genitals before every at bat if it meant they hit a homerun.

Okay, sure, that is a joke.

The fan that threw the phone is an obvious imbecile and should serve a few days in the clink to think about it. However, as the old saying goes, "sign the kid".

Even if you were trying to get within 15 feet of Everett from that distance, let alone from the height, with any object; you'd be 30-40% successful. On a good day.

To nail a guy in the noggin with one shot? That has to be in the realm of unBELIEVEable.

For Everett to turn around and throw the same phone and nail someone else in the head from about 25 yards has to be a sign from above to go play every sigle one of the lotteries because they are all going to hit and then go hit Las Vegas.

We feel sorry for whoever is within tossing distance of that phone. Thankfully we're back in Sacramento. But, if there's a knock on the door followed by a ringing sound, we're running in the other direction.

The ESPN.com article claims that Terrence Long threw something, he didn’t. Long threw Rafael Palmeiro’s 455th career homerun ball up into the stands. Twice. But that was in the 4th inning, not the 5th. The homerun slammed off the back wall and onto the field (shame, too, Mulder had him with two strike and was a hair from striking out the side).

Terrence then picked up the ball and threw it up into the stands. The fans scrambled for the ball and it went back onto the field. Terrence threw it back up and a young woman grabbed it.

Funny how things transpire.

The young woman gave the ball to her friend.

A few minutes later a Stadium Operations employee came by as Palmeiro wanted the ball. We all started shouting offers, “hold out for a jersey”, “get a few hundred bucks”, “demand a date with Eric Byrnes”.

The woman came back with two hats (one a Ranger’s hat) and an autographed ball.

Her friend who gave her the ball didn't get anything.

Some friend.

In the linked ESPN.com article also claims ICHIRO was hit with change. We can neither confirm, nor deny this. However, this is a long-standing tradition in Oakland. Outfielders regularly get change thrown at them. Dave Henderson used to come out to centerfield after hitting a homerun and find $4.00-5.00 in change. He pocketed the money, he's not dumb

ICHIRO got hit with coinery after nailing Terrence Long tried to go from first to third on a single. More on that later this week.

Some fans get over zealous and try to hit the player.

Hey, it takes skill to pay homage to thy enemy.

Which makes the Jose Canseco bidding for a lost weekend all the more surreal. Had Jose picked up any of the change (or managed any of the money he made as a baseball player) he wouldn't be in the mess he is in.

Today's Cell Phone dilemma is all the more mind-boggling because Carl Everett returned an action he was so upset about. A fan threw something at him, so he threw something at the fans. He nailed one of two Stadium Operations employees who were coming down to get the phone. It's like cracking a bat in the batter's box and chucking it at the batboy from 45 feet and crippling the kid.

Carl Everett calling anyone ignorant has to be in the Top 10 of all hypocritical mutterings since the beginning of time. Top 5 if you don't believe in dinosaurs and man landed on the moon.

What made matters worse is Everett came back in the bottom of the 6th inning and began jawing with fans. Taunting them.

Clearly he was heard and clearly he was seen urging fans to come on the field and take him on.

What was that Forrest Gump thing?

Stupid is as Carl does?

If the rightfiled bleachers were not 15 feet above the field a few fans would might have taken Carl up...yeah.

The fans Everett began taunting were the same group of dateless wonders who couldn't bench press their stainless stell travel mugs (free to the first 15,000 fans today - thanks, San Jose Mercury News).

After the warm-ups for the bottom of the 6th the umpires came to Buck Showalter and were basically telling Showalter that if Everett wanted to stay in the game he had better quit screwing with the fans in lower rightfield.

Carl didn’t. He was flipping off the fans and continually making chest-thumping gestures.

The phone came from upper rightfield, not lower rightfield and by the 6th inning Carl Everett had been told about it. They would not have let anyone back on the field had they not already grabbed the responsible individual.

Carl was just being Carl.

What do we expect?

Dunno.

Maybe that fans would do exactly what they did, immediately point out the guy.

Hell, in New York City or Boston the cell phone chucker might have ended up on the ticket for mayor. Of course the fans would have played their favorite game a few moments after the incidents, “we didn’t see anything, officer”.

What we’re happy about is the fans immediately turned the idiot over to authorities.

Fans throwing things on the field is not new. It happens a lot.

Everett is quoted as saying it happens all the time.

A lot more than it should, too.

It doesn’t mean Everett should press charges beyond what Alameda County is already going to prosecute the idiot for. If it were possible for a player to sue for being hit with debris Don Baylor would be a billionaire.

But, batteries, bottles, pocket knives, change, marbles, balls (beach and base), octopi, bras, food, drink and first 15,000 fans giveaway items end up on the field.

It’s a little out of the ordinary at an A’s game for the cell phone or any other serious object.

But the batteries are common favorites in Philadelphia.

Ask J.D. Drew.

The fans in Denver throw ice balls.

Yah, it’s stupid.

But do you think the stupid behavior is magnified due to alcohol?

Do you think that teams would stop selling alcohol, despite their continued assertions they provide a safe-family atmosphere?

Hell no.

They make too much cash off of booze and beer.

Coors Field.

Busch Stadium.

Miller Park.

Didn’t the Cubs sue to try to block the fans on the rooftops in rightfield? Didn’t the Cubs also paint one of the rooftops beyond the outfield with a gigantic Budweiser logo?

Do you know any other family places where they encourage alcohol?

Besides Church?

Oh, yah, Happy Passover/Easter to those who celebrate.

Psst. Rabbits and eggs are pagan symbols.

How did we get here from a baseball game?

Sun, happenstance and Carl Everett.

Baseball: you never know.