BLOTTER

Carl Everett should have a subpoena in his hands right now. After his bat nailed to spectators in the head last night Everett has yet to be detained by Arlington Police.

If Carl Everett continues his insistance to press charges against the person whose cell phone bumped him in the head, Everett should be indicted for assault on the two young fans he hit yesterday. As well as the Network Associates Coliseum employee Everett bludgeoned after throwing the cell phone that landed at his feet.

Turnabout is fair paly, no?

Derek Zumsteg has a coumn today at Baseball Prospectus entitled Derek's Team of the Damned Annoying that pretty much sums up why Carl Everett has had enough chances for people to try and understand him.

Carl Everett. The child abuse, mostly. Or, as he was found guilty of, "child neglect" for knowing about abuse and not taking any action. Anyone who believes Everett's a good but-misunderstood guy should go hit the microfiche and look up that little 1997 bit where a judge ruled that his wife used "excessive corporal punishment" on her step-children, and they had one of their kids placed in the custody of the kid's maternal grandmother. Actually, you can just read Sports Illustrated's 6-29-1998 issue for a quick little summary, which includes Everett blowing off counseling sessions and a conference where they were going to discuss the their case. Or you can read about how shaken the Shea Stadium employee was to see the kids that were so badly beaten the Mets called in New York's child welfare agency. Everett's comments on the matter seem to indicate he's pro-spanking but that there was a conspiracy in New York to make it seem like they slapped or hit their kids. Eeeeeyup.

If you're into spanking, there's his bizarre persecution complex, where pitchers like Jamie Moyer were trying to hit him with curve balls that went too far inside (back when Everett actually stood with both feet on top of the plate). And Everett would respond with taunts, crotch-grabbing, and general embarrassing behavior. There's also the great "The Bible never says anything about dinosaurs. You can't say there were dinosaurs when you never saw them. Someone actually saw Adam and Eve. No one ever saw a Tyrannosaurus Rex." (another great Sports Illustrated quote) And the related dinosaur bones were made by man comment, implying some kind of massive conspiracy and cover-up by the entire scientific community over the last....I'm getting mad just writing this.