SO WHAT KILLS THE ENEMY IS ANGER, WHAT GETS THE ENEMY'S GOODS IS REWARD.

- The Art of War -

NOTE: The Chris Speier content has been supplied, click here, or scroll down to the original post to read about his firing..


Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle is not funny. In fact, he is unfunny. There is a difference. There are people who do not have a sense of humor (even though they think they do) and, in turn are not funny. I call it; unfunny. It takes quite a bit of work to be that unfunny.

They try so hard to be funny and reverent and witty.

Jayson Stark of ESPN.com is a good example. Just not funny at all.

In his recent attempt, Ostler offends and shows how inept he is as a writer. Not only does he have, yet another retarded, 'fix' for teams walking Barry Bonds he deposits this brain dropping:

"A's fans better hope Mark Mulder makes an announcement soon about arm surgery. Because if it's not a medical problem, Mulder's second-half collapse will make the Rick Ankiel mystery look like misplaced car keys."

WHAT THE FU..?

• Since when have injuries, particularly arm injuries to pitchers, been funny?



• Rick Ankiel was 'all over the place', Mulder just looked mechanically 'off'.



• "Mulder's second-half collapse" started before the All-Star Break, but that would mean Ostler did some research.



• Why would I, as an A's fan, want Mulder to have surgery on his arm, when the absence of a competent pitching coach and discerning manager were 85% of his trouble in 2004?

Scott Ostler probably needs a reference for a good proctologist as a few dozen A's fans are lining up to put their foot in his ass. It would not be a surprise to see General Manager Billy Beane or Assitant General Manager David Forst taking a number to take a whack at the moronic scribe.

Not that violence is a solution to any issue.

How do you feel about the situation?

Email Scott Ostler and let him know, I'm sure he can use a break from his required reading, "How to Write Comedy that is Actually Somewhat Funny".

E-mail Scott Ostler at sostler@sfchronicle.com.

HERE'S MY RESUME

Anyone looking for a job? Monster has an unusual entry you might be interested in:
MONSTER JOB SEARCH: MLB BASEBALL COLUMNIST

Company: MLB.com Location: US-CA-Oakland As @ Network Associates Coliseum
Salary/Wage: Competitive, commensurate with experience
Status: Part Time, Per Diem, Temporary/Contract/Project, Seasonal
Job Category: Sports and Recreation


MLB.com, the Official Site of Major League Baseball, is seeking columnists to help cover Major League Baseball for the 2005 season. We're interested in candidates with solid reporting skills and a strong voice who are as well versed in writing about the sport off the field as they are about the games themselves.


Responsibilities
* - Column writing from live games across the country, as well as the news of the day off the field.
* - Non-column writing that helps feed the beast that is a 24-by-7 deadline cycle.
* - Factual reporting; intelligent writing.
* - Nuanced analysis and insightful commentary.
* - Professional representation of our company inside and outside our walls.


Qualifications
* - Four-year degree preferred.
* - Passion for the sport, as well as a thorough knowledge of the sport.
* - Experienced in writing on deadline.
* - Able to produce clean, crisp copy.
* - Team player to work in field, as well as with editors.
* - Good communicator and well-organized.
* - Self-starter with a wealth of ideas.
* - Willing to travel.
* - Bilingual a plus.


Note: Baseball columnist job openings are subject to business requirements, and, as such, positions may not be available with respect to all MLB teams.